The Nuzzardine Contingent
For the past months the Sha-Una and I have long travelled in utter secrecy, hoping feverishly to evade any and all agents of dubious intent whilst we sought the Enthoovian and his devilish lair. Now however, I have broken my regrettable incognizance to deliver news so fell that I fear to relate it in its unwholesome entirity! Enough, I must gibber it out quickly ere I fall to madness!.
Not two days hence, the Sha-Una and I found ourselves set upon by those repugnant minions of my wicked progeny, the Leapers Wee. And though they leapt no more weely than before, they seemed driven by some unseen force of terrible purpose. When at last we could evade their chase no more, the Sha-Una came to rest upon a lonely stump and howled in despair. The Leapers ringed us about and I peered from with my marsupial’s pouch with rising apprehension. Now shall I be ended I thought, and now shall all the world fall into the robiderant dominion of the Budge-Nuzzard.
And yet, as my eyes peeked out, they saw no further advance of Leapers. In fact, as I thrust my eyes at them, they chattered amongst themselves and I am certain that I spied one or two to have brewed a bit of a stinky tea and sipped at it repulsively. Then the chatter ceased and the unseen menace that drove that legion of Leapers was at last un-unseen. A small contingent of Nuzzards I saw, so very like my own that I should not have known them apart except by their singular multiplicity. They strode from the ranks of Leapers and stood before me. I quivered. I shuddered. I trembled and jibbered. Then they spoke as one.
“Turn aside! For should the Nuzzard fall into your cartonous trap, one of our number will ever rise to join the Budge and seal again that tyrannous union. Abandon this road. Abandon soap.” Then the leftmost Nuzzard argued a bit with the centermost of his abhorrent bretheren and they spoke again, “Abandon hope we meant to say. Do with your soap as you wish.”
Thus spake the Nuzzardine Contingent.
Then they leapt forth and snatched at me horribly! The Sha-Una bit at them and swiped a hairy paw to no avail. I was utterly plucked from within my pouch and handed over to a greedy and loathsome platoon of Leapers who sat upon me montrously and held me fast. In despair I watched as the Nuzzardine Contingent wrestled about with the Sha-Una until they mastered my loping friend and turned their actions to evil most odious. From a pocket one of those terrible Nuzzards drew forth a razor and as the Sha-Una howled they shaved that hero of all hair and left a stubbly and shamed Sha-Una where once proud hair and ferocity dwelt. Then in victorious malificence they did away.
I approached my now unhaired ally to offer some weemish comfort but the Sha-Una turned away and quivered in shame.
What shall become of us! We upon whom evil has turned its loathsome eye, a desperate Weem and a shorn Sha-Una, all alone together, in search of a Rumpled Enthoovian.
Not two days hence, the Sha-Una and I found ourselves set upon by those repugnant minions of my wicked progeny, the Leapers Wee. And though they leapt no more weely than before, they seemed driven by some unseen force of terrible purpose. When at last we could evade their chase no more, the Sha-Una came to rest upon a lonely stump and howled in despair. The Leapers ringed us about and I peered from with my marsupial’s pouch with rising apprehension. Now shall I be ended I thought, and now shall all the world fall into the robiderant dominion of the Budge-Nuzzard.
And yet, as my eyes peeked out, they saw no further advance of Leapers. In fact, as I thrust my eyes at them, they chattered amongst themselves and I am certain that I spied one or two to have brewed a bit of a stinky tea and sipped at it repulsively. Then the chatter ceased and the unseen menace that drove that legion of Leapers was at last un-unseen. A small contingent of Nuzzards I saw, so very like my own that I should not have known them apart except by their singular multiplicity. They strode from the ranks of Leapers and stood before me. I quivered. I shuddered. I trembled and jibbered. Then they spoke as one.
“Turn aside! For should the Nuzzard fall into your cartonous trap, one of our number will ever rise to join the Budge and seal again that tyrannous union. Abandon this road. Abandon soap.” Then the leftmost Nuzzard argued a bit with the centermost of his abhorrent bretheren and they spoke again, “Abandon hope we meant to say. Do with your soap as you wish.”
Thus spake the Nuzzardine Contingent.
Then they leapt forth and snatched at me horribly! The Sha-Una bit at them and swiped a hairy paw to no avail. I was utterly plucked from within my pouch and handed over to a greedy and loathsome platoon of Leapers who sat upon me montrously and held me fast. In despair I watched as the Nuzzardine Contingent wrestled about with the Sha-Una until they mastered my loping friend and turned their actions to evil most odious. From a pocket one of those terrible Nuzzards drew forth a razor and as the Sha-Una howled they shaved that hero of all hair and left a stubbly and shamed Sha-Una where once proud hair and ferocity dwelt. Then in victorious malificence they did away.
I approached my now unhaired ally to offer some weemish comfort but the Sha-Una turned away and quivered in shame.
What shall become of us! We upon whom evil has turned its loathsome eye, a desperate Weem and a shorn Sha-Una, all alone together, in search of a Rumpled Enthoovian.
posted by Thaddeus Glapp | 11:34 PM
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