Boon for the Tongueless
Ever northward am I aloped within the Sha-una, and as we draw near to attaining that ville of Voonish wonder, I have found that the bulbous nub upon my lower left foot throbs with anticipation! Indeed, it wakes me often in the night to proclaim to me our ever narrowing proximity. Many times I have loosed my Thupping Cream upon it, and yet it throbs on with giddy, child-like, felicity. Its gathering restlessness can mean nothing more certain, I hope, than the imminent arrival of the Sha-Una at our destination.
I fear that for the past days, I have had little to do other than consider my giddy bulb and thup upon it smartly. But in the intervals between, I have gloaned greatly and come to a rather mermuntary concluding. You see, I have received, on occasion, conveyances from those of this Weem-scarce land that have within them only the merest command of the Weench tongue and its many glories. Thus did my long gloaning suggest that I provide these unfortunate tongueless with a glossary.
You will note, I am sure, that the near universal influence of all things Weem and Ti has resulted in an abundant similarity between Weench and English. Do not be fooled! Many words of great and noble history have become hideously mangled and twisted by the translation. For example, the wonderfully Weench word ‘Glossary’ has been, for reasons obscure to all intellect, contorted here to mean a sort of brief dictionary. Pshaw! Weench would never suffer such a word. The true meaning is thus:
Glossary-n. A smallish, and often beige, building in which dullards are made shiny.
Grand is it not? And yet so sedentary have the tongues of English wrought it.
Therefore, as I lay firmly empouched within that hairiest of allies, I am hard at work constructing a ‘glossary’ for the lesser-tongued. In fact, I endeavor to construct not only a tool of reading, but a tool that may be worn abroad so that all who see it may be instructed as well. Indeed, great things are at work. Soon shall my toilings bear fruit, and soon shall you taste their boon.
Enough piffle and blather! My nub calls me to thupping and then I must to work! And the Sha-Una must to Voonville soon!
I fear that for the past days, I have had little to do other than consider my giddy bulb and thup upon it smartly. But in the intervals between, I have gloaned greatly and come to a rather mermuntary concluding. You see, I have received, on occasion, conveyances from those of this Weem-scarce land that have within them only the merest command of the Weench tongue and its many glories. Thus did my long gloaning suggest that I provide these unfortunate tongueless with a glossary.
You will note, I am sure, that the near universal influence of all things Weem and Ti has resulted in an abundant similarity between Weench and English. Do not be fooled! Many words of great and noble history have become hideously mangled and twisted by the translation. For example, the wonderfully Weench word ‘Glossary’ has been, for reasons obscure to all intellect, contorted here to mean a sort of brief dictionary. Pshaw! Weench would never suffer such a word. The true meaning is thus:
Glossary-n. A smallish, and often beige, building in which dullards are made shiny.
Grand is it not? And yet so sedentary have the tongues of English wrought it.
Therefore, as I lay firmly empouched within that hairiest of allies, I am hard at work constructing a ‘glossary’ for the lesser-tongued. In fact, I endeavor to construct not only a tool of reading, but a tool that may be worn abroad so that all who see it may be instructed as well. Indeed, great things are at work. Soon shall my toilings bear fruit, and soon shall you taste their boon.
Enough piffle and blather! My nub calls me to thupping and then I must to work! And the Sha-Una must to Voonville soon!
posted by Thaddeus Glapp | 4:57 PM
2 Comments:
Piffle indeed.
In deed, but not in action!
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