The Budge-Nuzzard

My brain has children. This is one of them. Click post titles for the podcast version.

My Photo
Location: Weem-Ti

Newly arrived and hideously gnawed.

Monday, January 09, 2006

To Rub and Swipe

Upon inspection of the curious bulging of my lower-left foot, I there discovered a bulbous nub.

Certainly, the presence of such a nub is not entirely unheardof, nor even unwelcome. But its location upon the very place so recently Gnawed casts a gloomy suspicion upon the whole matter. Given the pleasant look of such a nub upon my flesh, I put all malicious thoughts from my mind, and then massaged it thoroughly with a swipe of Thupping Cream. I had hoped such a rubbing and swiping would soothe my foamy mind. But alas, I am far too set upon to find so easy a reprieve.

The recent likeness of my wicked progeny having so hideously appeared upon the Lurker, has set inside me a most melancholy mood. The image haunts my every other moment, and those moments not so evilly ahaunted are in truth equally consumed by visions of my long un-nubbled Anne caught in what torments I dare not conceive (though they are unwantedly conceived in me)! What am I to do? Even this very hour I have slipped into a troublesome afternoon nap, and been officiously troubled by dreams of that foot-Gnawing which I'm certain you will recall with repugnance.

The Samurai has made no further contact since he was so mightily smitten upon the streets of Gnashville. Neither has that most hairy of allies, the Sha-Una, dared again to lope my way. Ah-Hah! What is this thought which now appears? It is a deep remembrance of the address so hairily handed me by the Sha-Una. I go now to find it and look upon it in earnest.


I return. And none too soon I see. There above this very utterance do I spy a wayward word. By no finger of mine did such a lobidious word come to be here. Perhaps the Lurker is again at large. I shall see to his capture. But ere I do, I shall here relate my thinkings upon that so hairily given card.

"1023 Winderwheedle Way
Voonville, WT"

Such is the writing thereon. The meaning of such an address-like message is obscure indeed. Does the Sha-Una wish me to visit this place with my very body? Surely not, as it clearly lies across the span, in far Weem-Ti. These things shall I consider as I go now to again swipe and rub with a squeezing of Thupping Cream. Immediately thereafter shall I seek out that Lurker most sly, and inquire of him the meaning of 'carton'.


Blogger Andrew Peterson said...

YES. My joy at finding yet another post was most voorish.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006 1:46:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home