Gloaning
Having lately yawned and shortly thereafter relished, I gloan now and shall relate it.
My first thought upon my arrival in Gnashville was, Oh, what a stupid. Thankfully, that, having made little sense to me, was neatly followed by the rather more lucid thought: Corn everlasting! Therefore did I fall upon my long uneaten dinner and consume it.
My search then began in earnest (ear nest? How delightful). I looked high, I looked low, my back began to hurt, I decided against the looking low and looked high again. And then did I spy a strange thing. A terribly hairy sort of a person was loping toward me and speaking without punctuation. This, I thought, was that most parsupplimous of persons, The Sha-Una.
"Ihaveseenit" the Sha-Una said.
And I was too set upon to reply. The Sha-Una pointed a hair-fraught finger toward a hideous nest of shadows that crouched on the street corner. I looked feverishly into that blackness and saw there terror and hair. The Budge-Nuzzard sat loathsomely upon my Anne and patted her with evil intent. She seemed unhurt (though greatly sat upon) but either asleep she was, or unconscious. The Nuzzard then smiled at me odiously.
It was at that moment that The Samurai leapt from a nearby lamp post and assailed my wicked progeny. Their battle was terrible to behold, and was very loud. Many people upon the street stopped to Gnash at them as they fought, but to little effect.
Arise, I thought, and moved to save my nubbled one whilst the Budge and Nuzzard were yet engaged. But, alas, too late. The Nuzzard having seen my rising, swept up Anne in his leg and smote the Samurai to the ground. Then he was gone. Then he was gone. By which I mean formerly the Nuzzard and lattermost the Samurai.
Then from my leftmost side I felt a bristly hand upon my elbow. It was The Sha-Una. Into my hand was pressed a business card and then that hairiest of allies was away with a great loping that filled my upper head with wonder.
Thus, did the card read:
1023 Winderwheedle Way
Voonville, WT
Ah, such travails!
My first thought upon my arrival in Gnashville was, Oh, what a stupid. Thankfully, that, having made little sense to me, was neatly followed by the rather more lucid thought: Corn everlasting! Therefore did I fall upon my long uneaten dinner and consume it.
My search then began in earnest (ear nest? How delightful). I looked high, I looked low, my back began to hurt, I decided against the looking low and looked high again. And then did I spy a strange thing. A terribly hairy sort of a person was loping toward me and speaking without punctuation. This, I thought, was that most parsupplimous of persons, The Sha-Una.
"Ihaveseenit" the Sha-Una said.
And I was too set upon to reply. The Sha-Una pointed a hair-fraught finger toward a hideous nest of shadows that crouched on the street corner. I looked feverishly into that blackness and saw there terror and hair. The Budge-Nuzzard sat loathsomely upon my Anne and patted her with evil intent. She seemed unhurt (though greatly sat upon) but either asleep she was, or unconscious. The Nuzzard then smiled at me odiously.
It was at that moment that The Samurai leapt from a nearby lamp post and assailed my wicked progeny. Their battle was terrible to behold, and was very loud. Many people upon the street stopped to Gnash at them as they fought, but to little effect.
Arise, I thought, and moved to save my nubbled one whilst the Budge and Nuzzard were yet engaged. But, alas, too late. The Nuzzard having seen my rising, swept up Anne in his leg and smote the Samurai to the ground. Then he was gone. Then he was gone. By which I mean formerly the Nuzzard and lattermost the Samurai.
Then from my leftmost side I felt a bristly hand upon my elbow. It was The Sha-Una. Into my hand was pressed a business card and then that hairiest of allies was away with a great loping that filled my upper head with wonder.
Thus, did the card read:
1023 Winderwheedle Way
Voonville, WT
Ah, such travails!
posted by Thaddeus Glapp | 10:12 PM
3 Comments:
Glorious.
Your grammar is delightfully context free.
Ah, that it should be free of my wicked progeny as well. Therein would lie a sweeter freedom.
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