A Letter Home
Dear WONAS,
Greetings from afar. I am writing this most serious of conveyances in order that you may further prepare such Weems as may follow. Great Overseer, I humbly bring to your attention these matters that I have found myself most hideously unprepared for upon my arrival! Surely, your magnificent orientation speech and subsequent training periods seemed useful, but in brute actuality they seem to have fallen far short.
For example, much dialogue and study was afforded me on the subject of Clapping. Yet, upon my arrival I have found that only once have I occasioned use of such a skill (though a wonderful skill it is). However, your glorious orientation failed even the slightest mention of Lurking, Leaping, Glaring, Smiting, Feezing, or Crochet--not even to mention Gnawing. I must confess that this lack of preparedness on my part has left me quite agast. Indeed, I often awaken in the night fearful and quivering as I ponder what other horrors my unpreparedness shall visit upon me!
Therefore, most Indibnible One, I beseech you. Train your Weems carefully that they might not fall to such depths as I. Save them the horrors, spare them the Glaring. Such things I beg of you on bended limb.
A.S. Peterson, A Weem Adrift
P.S.(Limp not overmuch, and forsooth!)
Note: Having written this conveyance, it now occurs to me that the sending of it proves difficult. I shall tuck it away until a way is found to trasmit it back home. Ah, the ways here are strange! And I am but newly arrived.
Note Addendum: It occurs to me after noting the above note that the difficulty plaguing the transmission of simple conveyances is another issue that the WONAS shall surely need to attend. Perhaps I will write another conveyance, but not now. I feel a strange bulging of my lower left foot, I must attend it.
Greetings from afar. I am writing this most serious of conveyances in order that you may further prepare such Weems as may follow. Great Overseer, I humbly bring to your attention these matters that I have found myself most hideously unprepared for upon my arrival! Surely, your magnificent orientation speech and subsequent training periods seemed useful, but in brute actuality they seem to have fallen far short.
For example, much dialogue and study was afforded me on the subject of Clapping. Yet, upon my arrival I have found that only once have I occasioned use of such a skill (though a wonderful skill it is). However, your glorious orientation failed even the slightest mention of Lurking, Leaping, Glaring, Smiting, Feezing, or Crochet--not even to mention Gnawing. I must confess that this lack of preparedness on my part has left me quite agast. Indeed, I often awaken in the night fearful and quivering as I ponder what other horrors my unpreparedness shall visit upon me!
Therefore, most Indibnible One, I beseech you. Train your Weems carefully that they might not fall to such depths as I. Save them the horrors, spare them the Glaring. Such things I beg of you on bended limb.
A.S. Peterson, A Weem Adrift
P.S.(Limp not overmuch, and forsooth!)
Note: Having written this conveyance, it now occurs to me that the sending of it proves difficult. I shall tuck it away until a way is found to trasmit it back home. Ah, the ways here are strange! And I am but newly arrived.
Note Addendum: It occurs to me after noting the above note that the difficulty plaguing the transmission of simple conveyances is another issue that the WONAS shall surely need to attend. Perhaps I will write another conveyance, but not now. I feel a strange bulging of my lower left foot, I must attend it.
posted by Thaddeus Glapp | 10:31 PM
2 Comments:
"Indibnible"!
I love you, man.
Man rhymes with Anne! May the Hideous Goadsag of Quooze entrap you if your veiled revelations prove true! Anne is mine.
Note: technically she belongs, at the moment, to my wicked progeny. A situation I am most eager to rectify. Woe!
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