The Budge-Nuzzard

My brain has children. This is one of them. Click post titles for the podcast version.

My Photo
Location: Weem-Ti

Newly arrived and hideously gnawed.

Monday, December 05, 2005

The Search Begins

"Seek Pan!" he urged me. And thus do I endeavor.

But how does one seek Pan? Seek the Pan? Seek a Pan? Oh, that I should be newly arrived and so heavily burdened. I must at length send word to the WONAS (Weem-Ti Overseer for New Arrival Settlement) and voice my unrest.

So I sat upon my sofa and sought to seek Pan. Where to start? At the length of a short finger I came to my first clue. I have here transcribed it for you to peruse. (I must at length send word to Meriam-Webster and express my delight.)

Pan- 1. A part: a portion [indeed a mighty clue!] 2. The large division of an exterior wall. [hrrmm] 3. A tab, lappet, or floating ribbon used as an adornment on a dress. [here I am most befuddled]

So there then was the first of many dubious clues in my search. I shall further relate to you the others that I spied to be of most import. The lesser ones I shall flush from my brain, and yours as well if you wish me to.

Pan- v. c. To cook in a pan in a small quantity of fat or water. [this has a most malignant sound to it] e. To attack with harsh critiscism; to ridicule mercilessly. [Heaven forbid this clue lead me thence!]

yet another...

Pan- n. a title of nobility, used honorifically. [that I should seek one such as myself seems odd indeed.]

...and hideously more...

Pan- The God of flocks and pastures. He was regarded as causing sudden and groundless fear. [certainly, this trait, if none other, is shared by my wicked progeny!]

When I had read these things, I thought long upon them. Then I became hungry and ate a pizza. As I prepared that most delightful, Lord of the Pies for my eventual consumption, I happened to spot, lurking in my cupboard, yet another lobidious clue. There, crouched low in the corner, cloaked in shadow and must, lay a simple "pan". I took it from its hiding spot in the nether-kitchen and contemplated it a long while. My initial confrontation with this manifestation of "Pan" in the Miriam and Webster left me doubtful about its importance. So benign it seemed that I flushed it utterly from my upper head. But now, having seen it lurking so quietly in my nether-kitchen, I find that I must recontemplate that which was once contemplated and properly aflushed.

I have not come yet to any proper conclusion regarding the Lurker in the Dark (so have I named the lurking "Pan") and it now sits in full illumination upon my table where I may watch its every move. So far, I should point out, it has not moved. But where Nuzzards and the Samurai are concerned, all may be suspected!


Post a Comment

<< Home